


Two Good Men

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-04
Updated: 1999-05-04
Packaged: 2018-11-11 00:47:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11137920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Major nastiness and angst for both our boys. AIDS warning.  This story is a sequel toBirthday.





	Two Good Men

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Two Good Men 

 

*WARNING*  
This story contains massive amounts of angst, (Big surprise from me!)  
So beware. There is meanness happening to Ray, and also to Benny. You  
have been warned.

This story comes after my first four. (In this order...) "Normally," "Affairs of the Heart," "Kidnapped" and "Birthday." They are also available on the archive. I'd suggest you read those first, if you haven't already. 

I'd like to thank Jenner. She reads everything I write (well, not quite *everything*...) And doesn't tease me for it. And besides, she's my friend. I'd also like to make a face at Raa and Shu... ;~P ~hee hee~ You guys didn't even know I'd written this... 

I'm also surprised it's this long... I didn't even intend to finish it right now... Comments are welcome and apreciated. TYVK. 

# Two Good Men.

Ray was late, Ben thought, checking his watch again. More than he usually was. It had been nearly 45 minutes he'd been waiting. 

"Hm." He said, motioning for Diefenbaker to follow him. "Come along, we'll go find him." 

He stopped at a pay phone to dial Ray's cell phone. It rang and rang, but there was no answer. Now he was really worried. He walked swiftly along the busy street that Ray usually drove along while on his way to pick Ben up for work. There was no sign of the green Riv anywhere. 

Ben turned down another street, very worried now. He was on his way to Ray's house. He hoped everything was alright. 

He turned the corner, and the community church came into view. And so, strangely enough, did a green Buick Riviera. Breaking into a run, Ben went to the car. The driver's side door was open, the keys still in the ignition. Ben put his hand on the hood of the car--it was cold. The Riv had been here for a while. He looked inside the car. Papers, maps and letters were strewn inside. An empty file folder lay on the floor on the driver's side. There was no sign of Ray. Ben looked around the car, catching a glimpse of something rectangular and grey. He went over to it. It was Ray's cell phone, half open, dropped into the dirt. He picked it up, carefully slipping it into his pocket. From there, he scanned the ground for any other clues. Further away, near the back corner of the church, there was a small pile of leaves and a glimpse of dark cloth that looked familiar. It was Ray's overcoat, dropped in a heap on the ground. Rounding the corner, Ben came across a terrible scene. 

Ray was huddled in a corner, his head down and his legs drawn in against his chest. His thin shoulders were shaking under the silk shirt. 

"Ray." Ben ran to him. Ray flinched at his touch, pressing himself further into the cold stone corner. "Ray, it's alright." 

Ray turned away, shielding himself from Ben's attention with his hands. Ben saw blood on his face and hands. He pulled away, searching for other injuries. Ray's shirt was untucked, his clothes in disarray. Ben's heart sank. He reached for the cell phone in his pocket. Before he could dial, Ray's hand clamped onto his wrist. 

"Don't." He whispered, his eyes wide. Ben stopped. 

"Ray, what happened?" He asked. Ray tried to answer, but a clouded look came into his eyes, and he seemed to draw in upon himself. 

"Take me home." He whispered. 

"Ray, your mother will want to know what happened." Ben tried to gather Ray's clothes about him, but to no avail. 

"Your home." Ray whimpered. 

Ben helped Ray to the car. He was walking with difficulty, although he could see no obvious injuries. Ray slumped in the passenger seat, and Ben draped his overcoat around him. Ray grabbed it closer, huddling under it as if it were below freezing outside. Ben started the car, and pulled out of the lot. 

"Ray, you should see a doctor." Ben tried to keep Ray talking, anything to distract him from whatever personal hell he was going through. "They can patch you up, they can help you." 

"No." Ray grunted. "No doctors." Ben could see the strain on his face as he tried to say more, but dropped his head, his eyes hidden. Ben could see rising welts on Ray's neck, big hand prints as if someone had tried to choke him. He didn't even want to think what his attacker had done to him. 

Ben managed to get the car to his apartment without stalling, and pulled up to the curb. He ran around to the passenger door, and helped Ray out. He was pale, and clutched at Ben's arm as they went into the building. Ben put an arm around him, and led him up the stairs. Ray slumped against him by the second floor, and Ben was practically carrying him by the time they reached the apartment. He struggled inside and helped Ray onto his bed. Ray collapsed with a groan, his eyes closed. Ben knelt beside him, drawing a blanket over his thin frame. 

"Ray." He said softly. Ray looked up at him with soulful eyes. Ben bit his lip. "Ray, what happened? I don't want to force you, but I need to know." 

"I--" Ray closed his eyes, trying to force the memory from his mind. "There were these men--" He shivered, trying to move further under the blanket. Ben put a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him. "They stopped the car-- they dragged-- they--" He broke off, burying his face in the pillow. Ben held him as Ray shook uncontrollably. When the spasms ceased, Ben spoke again. 

"What did they do to you?" 

"They--" Ray moved closer into Ben's warm embrace. "One held me down-- the other--" He lowered his head, avoiding eye contact. "The other one had a gun." 

"I need to take you to a hospital." Ben said swiftly. 

"No." Ray croaked as Ben drew away from him. He grabbed Ben's arm tightly. "I said no doctors." 

"Why not?" Ben knelt again, one hand cupping the side of Ray's face. He knew that Ray would open up the more he talked to him. 

"I'm afraid." Ray choked out. "I think one of them-- I knew one of them." 

"And?" 

"He's dying." Ray shuddered. He drew the blankets around him. "I'll be fine. Really." 

"Did you arrest him before?" Ben was worried at this news. 

"I sent him to prison." Ray said flatly. "I coulda signed his death warrant." 

"What happened, Ray?" 

"He got AIDS." Ray whispered. Ben drew back in shock. The bruising and injuries Ray appeared to be suffering from were consistent of assault, but this mention of AIDS brought a far more terrifying possibility. 

"Ray, were you sexually assaulted by these men?" 

At his words, Ray threw back the blanket, and attempted to flee the apartment. Ben caught his arm despite his efforts, and held him from leaving. Ray screamed in frustration. 

"They raped me, Fraser!" He yelled angrily. "They jumped me while I was driving and they held me down. I am gonna die, Fraser, and there's nothing I can do about it!" 

Ben led Ray back to the bed. 

"Lay down." He said. "I can make a phone call for an ambulance." 

"No." Ray moaned, shaking his head. "No, I'm not ready for this." 

"Be strong." Ben said. He knew what Ray was thinking. He wasn't ready for this either. He wasn't ready to tell the world at large his relationship with Ray. 

"I don't wanna be strong." Ray said softly. He had wrapped a blanket around himself again, and was gradually relaxing on the bed. 

"Well, you'll have to, Ray." Ben pulled out Ray's cell phone, and dialled the hospital. "And I will try to assure that this will be treated as confidentially as possible." 

***** 

In the hospital, Ray was subjected to a physical examination as well as a short session with a counsellor. He flipped through a book of mug shots he'd anonymously requested through the counselling staff, and identified his assailant by face and by name. 

"That's him." He shivered, pushing the book towards Ben, who took it reluctantly. "Top left. Clint Reese. I'd recognize him anywhere. The other guy I don't know." 

Ben looked at the photo, shuddering internally. The man was hunched over his identifying number, surly and sullen, but the strength behind the facade would be fierce and violent. He nodded to the counsellor, and they both went out into the hall to speak with the attending police officer, a man Ben had thankfully never met before. Information was exchanged, and an APB was put out over the radio. Ben thanked the officer and went back into the office to join Ray. The counsellor returned a few minutes later. 

"We've done all we can to help you, that is, without your identity becoming known." The counsellor said to Ray. He nodded and looked at the floor, not wanting to speak. 

"Thank you kindly." Ben said solemnly. 

***** 

A few hours later, with Ray sleeping, Dr. Benson motioned Ben out into the hallway. 

"We've taken blood samples for testing, as well as semen samples left behind from the rapist, and we'll have the test results by tomorrow." She said. Ben nodded solemnly. 

"He said he identified one of the assailants as having AIDS." He said. "What is the chance he may be infected?" 

"With circumstances like this, the chance is very high." Said Dr. Benson. "And it could be months before the tests show up positive." 

"How is he?" 

"The bruising and tearing will mend within the next few weeks. The mental anguish may never heal." The doctor said. "Couple the experience with the possibility of contracting AIDS and he may never want to get out of bed again." 

Ben put a hand to his head, suddenly dizzied by the reality of the doctor's words. He leaned against the wall for support, and choked back the tears. 

"He will see a psychiatrist." She said. "One who is qualified to deal with homosexual assault." 

Ben nodded, unable to speak. 

"We will need his consent to notify his family. What relation to the patient are you?" 

"I'm a friend." Ben choked. 

"Perhaps you should sit down." The doctor suggested. 

"No, I'll be fine." Ben straightened up, wiping his eyes. "I will ask Ray if he gives consent. And please, no visitors of any kind until tomorrow." 

Dr. Benson nodded and consulted Ray's chart. 

"Until tomorrow." 

Ben watched her walk away. He sank back as soon as the doctor turned away, resting his head on the wall, staring up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes, tears forcing their way down his cheeks. After only a few weeks of their relationship, their happiness together had been shattered. He struck the wall behind him with a fist. It hurt, but it was a satisfying pain. He wiped the tears from his face, then turned and went back into Ray's room. 

Ray was asleep, his chest peacefully rising and falling with each breath. Ben sat on the chair next to the bed, watching. The bruising around Ray's neck was clearly visible, violent dark marks made by his attackers' hands. Ray was lying in an attitude that gave him the most relief from his injuries, his knees raised by a pillow behind his legs. Ben reached out a hand, and placed it gently on Ray's forehead. Ray stirred a little, but remained asleep. 

"Son." Ben closed his eyes in resignment as his father spoke. He looked up. Robert Fraser was seated on the other side of Ray's bed, wearing his dress uniform. 

"Dad." Ben said. 

"We haven't spoken in a while." His father said, leaning forward in his chair. Ben sighed. 

"I haven't felt the need." He said. 

"And now?" 

"He may die." Ben said simply. 

"You're pretty attached to him, aren't you son?" Robert asked. 

"Yes I am." 

"Why didn't you ever see that nice girl in the hospital? The one in the pool?" 

"Dad, she was my therapist." Ben sighed. "And I wasn't looking for a relationship." 

"She was a very pretty girl." He pointed out. Ben shook his head. 

"Why are you here?" He asked. His father shrugged. 

"Must be some reason." He said simply. "You look worried about your friend." 

"Dad, I don't know if you've been around at all for the last couple of weeks." Ben braced himself to deliver the news. "But Ray is much more than just my friend." His father raised a questioning eyebrow. "We're lovers." He looked away quickly, not wanting to see his father's reaction. None came. When he looked up, his father was gone. 

"Thanks, Dad." He said to the empty chair. "Just great." 

A soft moan came from the bed. Ray moved his head towards Ben. 

"Hey." He said quietly. "I seem to end up in hospital with you a lot." 

Ben smiled, his throat tight. He leaned over, and brushed Ray's forehead with a light kiss. 

"You're awake." He said finally. 

"Yeah." He attempted a smile, and failed. "What's the news?" 

"The doctor says it could be months before you could test positive. They're doing a blood test now for preliminaries, and the results will be in tomorrow." Ben took Ray's hand in his, and clasped it tightly. "I am to ask you if you want to notify your family." 

"Ah, jeez." Ray's head fell back against the pillow. "I don't want my mother to see me like this. What will she think?" 

"What will you tell her?" Ben asked. 

"What I have to." 

"Do you want me to be here?" 

"Do I want you here when I tell her we're sleeping together?" Ray shrugged weakly. "It's up to you. You can be here if you want." 

"So you give them permission?" 

"Not yet." Ray said seriously. "I gotta prep myself first. You tell them I won't be home. Make up some excuse, like I gotta work late or something." 

"Is that wise?" Ben asked. "You're asking me to lie to your family. They'll be hurt." 

"Benny, they're gonna be more hurt when they hear the truth!" Ray nearly yelled. "You think that's gonna make any difference?" 

"They're your family, Ray." 

"Yeah, and they're not gonna like this. My mother thinks I should get married again. She thinks you're a nice guy, Benny, but she doesn't think we slept together." 

"You're ashamed of me, Ray?" Ben was hurt. He looked at Ray. "You are, aren't you?" 

"I'm not." Ray closed his eyes. He sighed. "Well, I am. I'm afraid of what'll happen when I tell her. I'm afraid of what'll happen when I tell the rest of my family. You have any idea how difficult this is?" 

Ben stiffened in his seat. "Yes, I do Ray." He said coldly. "And as I recall, Vecchios don't take this sort of news well." 

"Are you still holding that against me?" Ray snapped. "Ah, jeez, Benny, I'm sorry, okay?" 

"Don't apologize." Ben choked out. He could feel tears coming again. He bowed his head, hiding his face from Ray's sight. "It's not you." 

"What is it?" 

"Ray, I love you. I don't want you to be ashamed of who you are. I don't want you to be ashamed of me. If your mother doesn't accept this, then we can get through it." Ben could feel the tears sliding hotly down his cheeks. 

"I meant to tell her this weekend." Ray offered. 

"I'm sorry it has to be under circumstances like these." Ben said. 

"So am I." Ray said. 

***** 

Ben slept at Ray's side that night, settled uncomfortably in a chair. At five-thirty, he woke and found the bed empty. Panicked, he looked about the room for any sign of Ray. He went out into the hallway, and down to the common room. There he found Ray standing alone at the window, palms pressed against the glass, watching the leaves fall from the trees. He was crying. 

"Ray." Ben put his arms around Ray's waist, standing behind him. Ray turned in his embrace, burying his face in Ben's shirt, muffling his sobs. 

"I couldn't sleep." He moaned. 

"I know." Ben soothed, rubbing Ray's shoulders. He felt Ray's arms close around him. 

"I don't know what to say." He said. Ben hugged him closer. 

"I'll be with you, Ray." Ben said. "I'm not abandoning you." 

Ray closed his eyes, relaxed in Ben's embrace. He was safe here, in his lover's arms. He knew Ben would never leave him alone. He could trust Ben. But it was going to be so hard. 

***** 

Ben ushered Mrs. Vecchio to a chair, and then took the one on the other side of Ray's bed. Ray was lying down again, his legs elevated. 

"The doctor told you what happened." Ray said. "So I don't have to go through it again." His mother wiped her nose on a handkerchief, and nodded silently. "But there's another part to this." He looked apprehensively at Ben, then back at his mother. 

"You can tell me." She said encouragingly. 

"Well, Ma--" Ray started. "You know Benny and I have been friends for a long time--" 

"Yes." She said. 

"Well, we're a lot more than friends." Ray said tersely, watching her reaction. "We've been seeing each other for about a month now." 

His mother looked from Ray to Ben and back again, disbelieving what she had heard. Ray reached out a hand, and Ben took it, giving his support. 

"Your father wouldn't have liked this." She said finally. 

"Ma, this has nothing to do with him." 

"Did you not play enough sports in school?" She asked confusedly. "Did you play with Maria and Franchesca too much when you were little?" 

"That has nothing to do with it, Ma." Ray was losing his patience. "This has nothing to do with sports or dolls. It's who I am, okay? Who I really am. And I didn't want to keep lying to you." 

"You hurt me, Raymondo." She said tearfully. "You hurt our whole family." 

"Ma--" 

"--No son of mine would ever do this to his mother." She said angrily, rising from her chair. 

"Ma--" 

"Don't talk to me, Raymondo." She had her hand on the doorknob. 

"Mrs. Vecchio." Ben swiftly interposed himself between her and the door. "Ray is not telling you to hurt you. He is telling you because he cares, because he wants you to understand." 

"This I can't understand." She shook her head. "What do I tell my grandchildren when their Uncle Ray brings you home for dinner?" 

"You tell them the truth." Ben said calmly. "And you tell them that it is perfectly acceptable." 

"I can't tell them that if I don't believe it." She pushed past Ben into the hallway, and was gone. Ben turned back to face Ray, who was staring out the window with tears in his eyes. 

"I think that went well." Ray muttered. "I knew it wasn't gonna be easy." 

***** 

Ray looked up grimly when Dr. Benson entered, carrying his chart. Ben glanced at Ray hesitantly, then at the doctor. 

"Well, Doc?" Ray asked resignedly. "What's the bad news?" 

"Your assailant has tested positive for the HIV antibody once." She replied. "But not at this hospital. Our tests came out negative. Either test could have given a false-negative or positive. We won't know for sure unless we can test him again." 

"And that would require catching him." Ray muttered. 

"Precisely." The doctor nodded. "The good news for you is that you are perfectly healthy." 

"Right now I am." Ray groaned. 

"But you'll have to come in for testing once a month for at least six months to a year." The doctor said. "And you have been advised to see a trauma counsellor once a week for the next couple of months." 

"Yeah." 

"Thank you, doctor." Ben said. 

"The floor nurse will discharge you." The doctor said, walking to the door. "Good day." 

"Thank you for your time." Ben said. Dr. Benson left. Ben turned to face Ray. 

"Are you ready to face your family yet?" He asked carefully. Ray shrugged. 

"I don't know." He smirked. "Do you think they're ready for this?" 

"I think they will be if you are." 

"Ah, jeez, Benny." Ray sighed. "Now you're gonna put everything back on me again. I don't want to have my whole family yell at me like my mother did. And even if you are there, it's not gonna make it any easier." He sulked. 

"Your mother sent you some clothes so you don't have to go home in hospital blue." Ben held out a plastic bag. 

"Just great." 

"She's still your mother, Ray." 

"Yeah, well at least you don't have to go through this, Benny!" Ray snapped suddenly, grabbing the bag from his hands. "Your family's all dead and they couldn't care less about you!" 

"Ray--" Ben said lowly. 

"Besides, you don't think my mother's gonna tell everyone she knows that I'm gay?" Ray yelled. "You think that by tomorrow morning I won't have broken windows and graffiti all over my house? Now, I may be on medication, but I'm not stupid! I can see what's coming!" 

"Here are your keys." Ben said tightly, tossing them onto the bed. "I am walking home." He turned to leave. 

"Benny--" 

"Ray, I can see you're upset about this. I'm sure someone will drive you home. I'll see you when you sort things out." And then Ben walked out. 

Ray picked up his car keys, and threw them across the room in anger. He sank onto the bed, muttering curses in Italian, wishing that Ben had not left. He needed to straighten things out inside, he realized this, but the pain was deep inside him, and he didn't want to face it alone. And he had driven away the only person he could rely on. 

***** 

When Ben walked into his apartment building, he could feel something was wrong. He could feel eyes watching him as he climbed the stairs, but when he turned, all he saw were slammed doors or the backs of people's heads. His apartment door was open a crack, and when he laid his hand on it, it swung open to reveal the remains of his apartment. 

All his possessions, his books and clothes and dishes, had been ripped and smashed on the floor. The windows had been smashed. His narrow mattress had been flung into a corner, and his trunk had been forced open. At first, it looked like a robbery, but then he noticed scrawled words on the wall. Derogatory, childish messages like "AIDS faggot" and "homo go home". The sheer hatred of the words and the destruction of his apartment were too much for him. He fell to his knees in the ruins, crying out in anger and pain. He hated this city. He hated the inhabitants and their selfish, intolerant ways. He hated what the city had done to Ray, what it had done to their gentle love and how it had torn away their innocence. And when he could cry no more tears, Ben collapsed in a heap, lying on broken glass and scattered pages, until eventually, he cried himself to sleep. 

***** 

Ray's family treated him very carefully his first night at home. They tried to tiptoe around him at first, but he objected and yelled at them. They treated him much more carefully after that, not knowing what would send him into a rage. 

Ray didn't talk to his mother. He wouldn't look at her even when she served him dinner. The rest of his family stared at their plates and chewed silently. Finally, she broke the ice. 

"Raymondo, perhaps you would like to bring your friend over for dinner sometime." She offered quietly. Ray ignored her and took another bite of lasagne. "It has been a while since we have seen him." 

"Okay!" Ray snapped, throwing down his fork and shoving back his chair. "I've had enough of this! I'm going nuts because I'm not working, and you're throwing me dinner invitations! You want me to talk, let's talk! What's eating you?" 

His mother looked concerned. "Raymondo, I cannot agree with your decision to make love with this man." She said. "But you are my son. I love you. I want to see you happy. And if he makes you happy, then that is what it takes." 

"Ma--" 

"Ray." Franchesca spoke. "I know you're gonna get angry with me, but I know you've got something really special with Benton." She poked at her lasagne as a distraction. "And I can see what you see in him. I can accept this thing with him." 

"I can't." Maria piped up. "I don't understand it. But it's your life." 

"You're right, it is my life." Ray said dangerously. "And I'm in charge of my life, not you. You can think what you want, but it's not gonna change what I do. I'm in control, you hear? Me. I don't answer to any of you! You don't tell me what to do!" He stood up and stormed out of the room. There was silence at the table. 

"He is still seeing the psychiatrist, right?" Franchesca asked. His mother nodded. "I'll go talk to him." 

She found Ray outside, sitting in the dark behind the wheel of the Riv. 

"I wanted to talk to you." She said tentatively. 

"Go away." Ray snapped. 

"Ray, we're all doing the best we can." Franchesca said softly. "It's as hard for us as it is for you. We've all got to stick together." 

"You don't have to worry about dying, Frannie." Ray choked. He bowed his head to hide the tears in his eyes. "You don't have to go through the shame of being the least respected minority on the face of the planet." 

"Ray--" 

"Sometimes--" Ray choked. "I'm so afraid. I don't want to die. I don't want to waste away. Frannie, I don't want to lose any of you. You, Maria, Ma--" 

"And Benton--" She added. 

"Yeah." Ray sulked. "And Benny." 

"That's something we all will go through." She reached an arm around him in an awkward hug. "It's just you're going through it earlier than most people." She opened the car door, and Ray got out. He hugged her again. "And we're all worried for you. I don't want to see you go, either." 

Ray hugged her again, and then pulled away. 

"Frannie, just be there for me." 

"You don't have to say anything." She said. They walked back into the house. 

***** 

Ben rolled over the next morning from his makeshift bed on the floor. The broken glass from his windows was littered across the floor, and a little rain had blown in over night. He closed his eyes again, silently cursing the people who had trashed his apartment. 

In a daze, he surveyed the wreckage, pulling what remained of his uniform from the broken bureau. He was going to have to take a day off work because of this, not to mention the chastising he would receive from Thatcher. Diefenbaker was nowhere to be seen. Typical, one sign of trouble and he turned tail. 

Miraculously, he managed to find a sweater and a pair of jeans that weren't destroyed, and changed out of his slept-in clothing. He would have to phone the consulate. Ben left his apartment, and knocked twice on his neighbour's door. Mr. Mustafi opened the door, but quickly slammed it again in Ben's face. Hurt, he tried Mr. Campbell's door. The same reaction. Finally, he dug a quarter out of his pocket, and went in search of a pay phone. 

He stopped at a phone booth on the corner, but as he picked up the receiver, his hand began to shake. This was the same phonebooth he'd tried to phone Ray from, before he'd found him in the churchyard-- 

Ben slammed down the reciever, and walked swiftly away from his apartment building. He wasn't going to live in a place that hated him. With his head down, he walked, close to crying tears of anger and frustration. He had been a fool to think he could change the city. It had been a hopeless task, and now even the people he felt were his friends had struck back at him. 

It had been light when Ben had left his apartment, but now the skies were clouding over. The breeze picked up, and brought with it spatters of rain. Shoulders hunched, Ben walked through the streets. He saw the bright flash of lightning, and heard the low rumble of thunder in the air. Rain poured down, rotting newspapers fragmenting, garbage swirling in the currents of water that rushed to the gutter. Ben was soaked, his clothes clinging to him, his boots soaked through. He let the tears go now, the hot sting washed away by the pelting rain on his face. He didn't care who saw him now, his anger and desperation clouded his thoughts. He stumbled blindly into an alley, falling to his hands and knees in the shattered glass and broken bricks. The lighting crashed again, and as the thunder cracked overhead, he screamed into the fury of the storm. He cried into the wind and rain, his voice drowned out by the storm. He cried for Ray, and to release the pain he'd been holding bottled up inside. And finally, when the storm dulled, he lay on the pavement, washed by the falling rain. He looked up, past the darkened, abandoned buildings to the grey sky, and dreamed he was home again. 

***** 

Ray sat in an armchair, watching the storm blow outside the window. After two hours of trying to bathe and dress, he'd finally given up, and put on his bathrobe. He'd put on fuzzy-lined slippers to make himself feel better, but it hadn't worked. Now he was just sitting, staring out of the window. He didn't feel like talking to anyone, he didn't feel like going anywhere. He just sat and stared, watching the storm, and thinking about his life. 

It had all been worth it, hadn't it? He thought about Angie, his ex-wife. Sure, they'd had some good times. But something had always been missing. He'd never felt satisfied, like there was some vital part of himself missing. And he hadn't known what it was, or even guessed at it, until he met Ben. 

Ben was the side of himself Ray had always wanted to be. Calm, collected and courteous, he always had time to help someone, and everyone treated him with respect because Ben treated them the same way. Ray smiled slightly, thinking of their past together. It had been over a year since Ben had revealed his feelings to him. Since their first experience together, Ray remembered fondly, they had been inseparable. They were connected through much more than just love. It was a spiritual sort of kinship. They complemented each other perfectly, each quality they possessed amplified and refined by the other. 

Ray watched the rain drip down the windows. He would love to have Ben there beside him, not to speak to, but just to hold. The support his lover could give was more in tune with his needs. Ben always knew exactly what to say to calm him. He smiled again dreamily. The painkillers were working at the edges of his consciousness, tempting him into sleep. Peacefully, Ray snuggled into his chair, and laid his head back. He closed his eyes, thinking of Ben. 

***** 

"What've we got now, Jerry?" Dr. Benson wearily pushed back hair from her face, and consulted the clipboard the intern handed her. 

"Someone called for an ambulance after finding this John Doe in an alley. Comatose, responds to pain and light. Hypothermia from exposure and lacerations on his hands, knees and back from broken glass." 

"Nasty." She mused, walking over to the blanket-covered figure on the stretcher. She checked his pulse and breathing, and examined the wounds on his hands. Some of the cuts were deep, clotted with the glass still in them. Dried blood and dirt was smudged on his face. "Here, help me roll him over." Jerry assisted her in rolling her patient to one side. The cuts on his back were in the same condition. "Let's get him cleaned up. What's his temperature?" 

"He's still five degrees under normal." Jerry said. "The water bottles brought him up a lot. We gave him oxygen so he wouldn't cramp, but he still hasn't started shivering." 

"Hmm--" Dr. Benson mused. This patient certainly looked familiar. "Are you sure this guy has no I.D.?" 

"Nothing on him at all." 

"Sir?" Dr. Benson shone a light in one eye--the pupil contracted normally. So did the other. "Sir, I'm going to start cleaning your cuts now." It was something about the eyes, she thought, that looked familiar. 

Jerry provided the saline solution for irrigation, and the gauze pads and sutures, and Dr. Benson worked on the gashes on her patient's hands. Some of the cuts were deep, and required stitches, but most were closed with surgical tape and gauze. When they turned the patient over onto his side, he finally began to show some sign of movement. He began to shiver violently, in a way that Dr. Benson felt was dangerously close to a possible seizure. When she began to stich up the deep gashes on his back, though, she realized he wasn't seizuring--he was crying. 

He was crying silently, his entire body wracked with sobs, but without making a noise. 

"Sir?" She enquired. "What's wrong?" She received no answer. She laid a hand on his shoulder. A soft moan came from her patient. "Sir?" 

"Ray--" The patient moaned. "Oh God, Oh God, Ray--" 

"Sir, I'm just going to finish dressing your back, and then we can roll you over again." She snipped off a suture. "Just one more to go. Can you help me with this, Jerry?" 

The intern held the edges of the gash together as she placed the final stitches. The wounds were covered with gauze and tape, and together they rolled the patient onto his back again. His eyes were half open, tears streaking his cheeks. His mouth moved noiselessly. 

"Did you give him any medication?" She asked Jerry. He shook his head no. 

"He doesn't appear to be on anything right now. All his vitals have come back up to normal." Jerry checked the temperature. "Should we put him on anything?" 

"Get some fluids into him, and give him something for the pain, but nothing else." Dr. Benson said, re-wrapping the blanket around him. "But I want him watched. Let me know if anything happens." 

"If he won't take anything by mouth?" 

"Put in an I.V." She advised. "But try to get him to swallow first." She consulted a chart on the wall. "I'll be back to check later." 

Jerry wheeled the stretcher into a cubicle and pulled the curtains around it part way. He poured some water into a plastic cup, and attempted to give it to the patient, but he just turned his head and let the water spill down his neck. Finally, Jerry put him on an I.V. drip with glucose and left him alone. 

Ben stared unseeing at the ceiling. 

***** 

It was Ray's third day at home, and he was quickly running out of things to do. He'd put up with Frannie's half-hourly checks on him, and was now a quarter of his way through a paperback spy novel. It was a good way of killing time before picking up his test results, but still, he was bored. He glanced at his phone sitting on his bedside table next to him. Benny hadn't talked to him for two days. Where was he? He couldn't have been working all this time. 

He picked up the phone, toying with the idea to call the consulate. As he put the phone back down, it rang. He picked it up again. 

"Vecchio." 

"Detective, this is the Canadian Consulate." He recognized the new receptionist's voice. "Constable Fraser hasn't shown up for work in the past two days, and attempts to contact him have been unsuccessful. Do you have any idea where he may be?" 

"He's not at home?" Ray asked in disbelief. 

"Our attempts to phone him at the apartment have been unsuccessful." She said. "His neighbours have been most uncooperative." 

"Yeah, uh--" Ray wasn't sure what to say. "Have you sent someone over? I'd go, but uh--" 

"We can't spare any staff at the moment. Could you check in on him?" 

"Uh, yeah." Ray said. 

"Thank you. Good day." 

Ray hung up, staring at the phone. Ben wasn't at home, he wasn't at work, and he sure as hell wasn't here. Where could he be? 

He made an effort to dress nicely, in his favourite grey slacks, and walked out to the Riv. Frannie followed him to the car. 

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" She asked. "What if something happens to you?" 

"Dammit, Frannie, I'll be fine!" Ray snapped. "Nothing is gonna happen!" He slammed the car door, and drove away from the house. 

He soon reached Ben's neighbourhood, and parked his car in a side street. He went into Ben's apartment building, and began to climb the stairs. He met Mr. Mustafi coming down, and tried to ask him where Ben was. Mr. Mustafi turned away quickly, and ignored him. 

Ben's apartment door was ajar, and Ray noticed broken glass on the floor even before he stepped into the room. Everything was overturned. Surveying the destruction, Ray's heart sank. This was all because of him. Everything in the room was broken, ripped or overturned. Even Ben's hat was trampled. Ray picked it up slowly, pushing out the dents and shaking off the shards of glass. Ben would never leave this behind intentionally. Something must be wrong. 

He stopped on his way out the door, seeing the hate messages scrawled on the wall. Yes, dammit, something was wrong. The world was wrong. Even Ben couldn't deal with this sort of anger, especially after the events of the past few days. Ray made his way back down to his car, carrying Ben's hat with him. At least when he found him, he could give it to him. But right now, he had to get his test results from the hospital. 

Ray walked into the nurses's station, asking for Dr. Benson. 

"She's with a patient right now." The nurse informed him. "She'll be with you in a few minutes. If you don't mind waiting over there--" 

Ray sighed and took a seat, pulling out the paperback he'd stuffed in his coat pocket. But no matter how hard he concentrated on the printed words, his thoughts were elsewhere. What if the tests were positive? What would he do with his life? With Benny? With his family? 

"Mr. Vecchio?" Dr. Benson's voice interrupted his thoughts. She looked tired. "I have your test results here." 

"Okay." Ray sighed. "Fire away." 

"The initial tests are negative." She said. "As they almost always are at this point in time. Your body has not yet begun to fight back against the virus, if you are infected, so there are no antibodies present in your bloodstream." He nodded dumbly. "I have collected some information for you if you need it--" She handed him a manilla envelope with pamphlets in it. "And your first appointment with the psychiatrist is Thursday. You can bring someone with you if you need to." 

"Yeah." Ray stared bleakly at the floor. "I think so." 

Their conversation was interrupted by an intern, who ran up to Dr. Benson holding a clipboard. 

"Doctor, he's awake, but we've had to restrain him. He wants to leave, keeps asking for 'Ray'. He's tried to pull the I.V. out already." 

"Ray?" She asked. 

"Hm?" Ray looked around. 

"Oh." She said quickly. "That's who he is! Mr. Vecchio, come with me immediately." 

Ray followed her down the hallway, his paperback abandoned. Dr. Benson led him to a curtained bed. She pulled aside one curtain, and two more interns turned from their patient. Ray looked down at the figure on the stretcher. 

"Benny!" He was pale, barely recognizable, but it was definitely Ben. "What happened?" He looked at the bandages swathing his hands. "What'd you do to him?" 

Ben thrashed wildly on the bed, trying to free his hands, which were tied to the frame of the stretcher. A low moan escaped his lips. He tossed his head from side to side, his eyes tightly closed. 

"Benny, Benny--" Ray tried to soothe his partner, but to no avail. Ben continued to struggle, and the interns had to hold down his legs. 

"I don't know what's wrong, Doctor." The first intern said, consulting the clipboard. "He was comatose for four, four and a half hours, and suddenly he's like this." 

"I want a psychiatric evaluation done as soon as possible." Dr. Benson ordered. "And for God's sake, tie him down before he hurts himself!" 

Ben continued to strain against the restraints, crying out wordlessly, his voice hoarse. Tears were flowing down his face, sweat beading on his brow. 

"We're going to have to tranquillize him--" Jerry said. "Otherwise--" 

"Do it!" Dr. Benson yelled, grabbing a needle and a small glass bottle. Jerry drew some medication, and injected it into Ben's arm. Ben relaxed with a moan, his eyes opening slightly. 

"Ray--" He said softly before he passed out. 

Ray stood there after watching the whole thing. 

"What happened to him?" He asked Dr. Benson. 

"The psychiatrist will tell you that when he finishes." She said grimly. 

***** 

Ray watched the psychiatrist attempt to talk to Ben. The man would sit by the bedside, talking slowly and calmly to him, and Ben would either close his eyes or thrash about wildly, trying to loosen his bonds. After an hour of this, the psychiatrist joined Ray and Dr. Benson. 

"It would appear that the events of the past few days have taken their toll on him." He said gravely. "From what Mr. Vecchio has said, the--uh--assault, coupled with the destruction of his apartment have caused quite a bit of stress for Mr. Fraser." 

"Will he get better?" Ray asked sadly. The psychiatrist nodded. 

"I expect a full recovery." He said. "He shows extreme agitation when you are mentioned--" He motioned at Ray. "But has very little concern for anything else. Except his--wolf?" 

Ray nodded. 

"That sounds like Benny." He said. So what are you gonna do?" 

"I've prescribed a sedative for the next week or so." The psychiatrist handed Ray a slip of paper. "When he is released, he will need constant supervision. He will be kept overnight for further observation, and released tomorrow. I think it would be best if you stayed here tonight, Mr. Vecchio." 

Ray nodded sadly. He'd have to phone home for his overnight bag. 

"So he'll be okay, right, Doc?" He asked, as they transferred Ben to a Quiet Ward. Dr. Benson shrugged. 

"Talk to him." She advised. "And stay near him. It's the best you can do." 

The doctors left, and Ray was alone with Ben. He looked sadly down at the bandaged figure, heavily drugged into a stupor. 

"Heya, Benny." He said, touching his arm. "I know you're on some pretty heavy stuff right now, but I gotta talk to you. You can hear me, can't you? I'm just gonna keep talking, so you just listen. And if, at any time, you feel you need to add something, just jump right in." Ben's eyes were open slightly, just slits that Ray could barely see blue in. "I gotta tell you. Okay, I know some pretty horrible stuff has been happening. I mean, that bastard jumping me like that-- it's not great, I know." He rubbed Ben's arm soothingly. "But it's gonna be okay. Trust me. We can get through this. Tell you what, I'm gonna help you find a new place to live, maybe closer to me, huh? How does that sound?" 

Ray talked on and on through the evening, keeping up the steady pace, distracting Ben from whatever personal hell he was going through. 

"I mean, this is kinda neat. I get to do all the talking. And it feels good, you know? I can tell you how I feel--" He gulped past the lump forming in his throat. "It really kills me to see you like this. I keep thinking this is all because of me. But those people who did that to your apartment, they didn't understand. They didn't know you the way I do. I love you, Benny, and no-one can take that away from us." 

Ben sighed, rolling his head to one side, his eyes opening a little more. Ray took this as a good sign. 

"I'm gonna help you clean everything up. Even if my tests--come back positive--even if they do, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I'm never gonna leave you, Benny." 

Ben opened his eyes, gazing calmly into Ray's worried face. His expression said more than any words. Ray softly kissed Ben's cheek. 

"I mean it." Ray whispered. Ben sighed again. "You don't have to say anything. I understand." 

"Ray--" Ben breathed. Ray pulled back to look his lover in the face. "I don't want you to die." Ray saw tears well up into his eyes. He brushed Ben's cheek with his thumb. 

"It's more dangerous being a cop right now." He soothed. "And nothing will happen for a very long time." 

"Promise?" Ben weakly attempted a smile. Ray nodded, placing a kiss on his lover's forehead. 

"I promise." 

***** 

"Son--" 

Ben groaned at the sound of his father's voice. He opened one eye warily. His father was sitting beside the bed. Ben glanced over at Ray--he was asleep, snoring gently. 

"Hello, Dad." This was getting to be a regular occurrence. "How are you?" 

"Aside from the normal?" His father shrugged. "I want to talk to you, Son." 

"Ah." Ben said, lettting his head fall to the pillow. "And here I thought it was me who needed to talk." 

"Yes." His father said. "Now, about Ray--" 

"What about Ray?" Ben asked wearily. 

"What you said--" His father grumbled. "About you-- and him--" 

"Dad, I explained it to you." Ben said stiffly. "I love him. He loves me. It's that simple." 

"Didn't you love that Victoria woman?" His father asked. Ben winced at the memory. 

"I wasn't thinking straight." He said lowly. "She did something to me--" 

"Yeah, she got into bed with you." His father said. "That was romance!" 

"That wasn't love, Dad." Ben sighed, putting a hand to his face. He looked at the I.V. tube a moment, bewildered. "I'm not sure what it was, actually." 

"So you haven't reconsidered?" 

"No, Dad, I haven't!" Ben snapped. "I am not going to abandon him. Look at me--" He broke into a nervous laugh. "I lost twelve hours out of my life! I wandered out into a rainstorm and ended up here. And Ray is still here." He emphasized the last two words. His father shrugged. 

"Very well." He grumbled, getting to his feet. "So he's still here. That's nice." He wandered off. 

"Dad." Ben said. His father walked out into the hallway. "Dad." He walked off without a backward glance. He sighed, and laid back down again. 

He tried to think back to the events of the day. He'd left his apartment, and walked through the rain to go to-- where had he been going? Thinking back on it now, he didn't think he'd been going anywhere. All the stress of the past few days had caught up with him, and he'd just needed to blow off a little steam. And, apparently, he'd ended up walking straight into hypothermia, something he'd only done once before. Ben cursed his stupidity. He couldn't be weak now, not at a time when Ray needed him. 

He looked over at Ray, dozing uncomfortably in the chair next to his bed. He reached out a hand, and shook him gently. 

"Ray--" He said, pulling the groggy man toward him. "Here, lie down. There's enough room." 

Ray nestled next to him on the hospital bed, and dozed off again. Ben laid there, his arm laid protectively around Ray's shoulders. Eventually, his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep. 

***** 

Ray awoke just as the sky was lightening, pink streaks appearing in the Eastern sky. His first sensation other than the glowing sky, was of warm arms wrapped around him. He closed his eyes, savouring the embrace for a moment. Then he extricated himself from Ben's sleeping arms and went in search of coffee. 

Morning was very subdued in the Quiet Ward. Ray was afraid even the elevator would make too much noise as it dropped to his floor. Thankfully, it didn't. He got on, and rode down to the ground floor, where the cafeteria was. 

Things were a lot busier down here. Patients roamed about, some with blatant disregard for the fastenings of their robes, others, like Ray, intent only on finding one blessed cup of coffee. He waited in line, fumbling for a dollar bill in his pocket, when a commotion started in the hallway outside. He glanced out, to see a scruffy man grab a cardboard box off an orderly's cart. He ran out into the hallway. 

"Stop! Police!" He snapped. The man turned toward him, dropped the box and started to run the other direction. Ray stepped back as if shot. That face-- He put a hand out to lean against the wall, but misjudged the distance. He pressed his face against the plaster instead, his heart pounding, his knees weak. 

"Sir?" The orderly put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Get the hospital security after that guy--" Ray stammered. "He's out for assault with a deadly weapon." 

"But, Sir--" 

"Do it!" Ray yelled. He closed his eyes, feeling his heart beat. The orderly took off after Clint Reese. 

***** 

Ben opened his eyes to Ray's worried face. 

"Ray, what's wrong?" He asked immediately. Ray shook his head. 

"I saw him." He said reticently. "He was here in the hospital." 

"Reese?" Ben asked softly. Ray nodded. 

"He was trying to steal morphine." He looked at the floor. "I don't know if the security guards got him or not." 

"They're still trying to test him, aren't they?" Ben said. Ray nodded again. 

Ray sat down on the bed beside Ben. He touched the back of his bandaged hand. 

"Hey, Benny--" He started. Ben looked at him. "You really took it hard, didn't you?" 

"I--" Ben swallowed nervously. "My apartment--" 

"I know, I know--" Ray soothed, stroking Ben's arm. "I saw it. I'm really sorry about everything--" 

"No need to apologize." Ben said lowly. "It's not your fault. It could have happened to anyone." 

"Yeah." Ray said. 

"I'll never leave you, Ray." 

"I know that." 

There was silence in the room. Then there was a knock on the open door. Ray turned, seeing a hospital security guard standing there. 

"You Ray Vecchio?" The guard grunted. Ray nodded, speechless. "There's an officer downstairs making an arrest. A guy named Clint Reese. They told me to let you know." 

Ray's face paled slightly. He nodded. 

"Thanks." He gulped. 

"They also said that testing's gonna be done tonight." The guard nodded. "That's all." 

The guard left. Ray turned back to look at Ben. 

"Tomorrow." He whispered. Ben nodded, reaching out and taking Ray's hand in his. 

"Everything will be fine." 

***** 

Ray sat at home, on the couch, Ben beside him. He was waiting for that phone call, the one that would tell him his future. He couldn't sleep. Ben sat on the couch, his eyes closed, dozing lightly. Ray looked at him, admiring his lover's features. The delicious earlobes, the curve of his jaw, the small scar flicking upwards. The full lips, relaxed in sleep. The eyes, so full of love, hidden beneath the lids. The strong cheekbones, the perfect nose. He loved Ben with all his heart. It sounded corny, but it was true. 

"God, Benny, I love you." He whispered. 

"Hm?" Ben stirred, shifting his position to take the pressure off his wounded back. He smiled sleepily. 

"I said I love you." Ray cupped the back of Ben's neck in his hand. Ben smiled again. 

"I love you, too." He whispered. "Regardless." 

"What if the test is positive?" Ray was almost afraid to ask it. His eyes were full of pain. Ben reached an arm around him, moving a little closer. 

"We live with it." He said softly. 

"We?" Ray echoed faintly. Ben nodded. 

"I will never leave you." He said. "Never." 

Ray relaxed into Ben's arms, comfortable and safe in his embrace. He closed his eyes, and felt Ben's chest rising and falling as he breathed. His heartbeat thudded dully against his ribs. Ray listened. He was so alive. He yawned, and they snuggled closer together on the couch. Ben pulled the blanket down off the back of the couch, and draped it over them. Ray sighed, and dozed off. The last sound he heard was the beating of Ben's heart. 

***** 

The two of them were awakened by the shrill ringing of the telephone on the end table. Blindly, Ray reached out a hand and grabbed it off the cradle. 

"Hello?" He mumbled. 

"Mr. Vecchio? This is Doctor Benson." The calm voice sounded in his ear. Ray sat up, struggling to get out of the blanket. Ben was just opening his eyes, checking his watch. It was six-thirty. 

"Yeah?" Ray grunted. 

"We've completed our tests on Clint Reese." She said. 

"Well, Ray?" Ben asked softly. Ray grabbed his hand, and held it. 

"Fire away, Doctor." He said, steeling himself. 

"The tests were negative." She said. 

"Are you sure?" Ray asked, trying to disguise the waver in his voice. Ben's grip tightened. He looked questioningly at Ray. 

"We ran three separate tests from three separate samples." Doctor Benson said. "All three were negative. Mr. Reese does not carry the H.I.V. antibody." 

"Thanks." Ray said. He hung up the phone. He turned to face Ben, a smile breaking across his face. 

"They're negative!" He said joyously, hugging Ben tightly. "All of them!" 

Ben smiled, hugging Ray back tightly. 

"That's great, Ray." He choked out. Ray pulled back, and saw Ben was crying. He wiped a tear away with the back of his hand. 

"There's nothing to cry about." He said softly. "Benny--" He put his hands on either side of Ben's face, and looked deep into his eyes. "I love you." He leaned forward and kissed him. Ben paused a moment, then kissed back fiercely. When they drew apart, he was smiling. 

"I know." He said. 

"Come on, let's tell everyone." Ray grabbed Ben's hand, and pulled him to his feet. 

"Wait--" Ben said. Ray stopped. 

"What?" He asked impatiently. Ben looked down, embarassed. "What?" 

"I was so afraid for you, Ray." He admitted. "I would have died for you." 

"No heroics, Benny." Ray grinned. "I don't want to lose you." 

"I mean it." He said earnestly. 

"Well--" Ray said. "If it'd been you, I woulda been scared stiff." 

"I was." Ben laughed nervously. 

"Me too." Ray smiled. Ben kissed him. 

"Okay." He said, after they pulled apart. "Let's go tell your family. 

"They're your family, too, Benny." Ray pointed out. 

"Let's go tell our family." 

***** 

Ray curled up beside Fraser that night, exhausted from the hard work they'd completed. Ben's apartment was nearly liveable, but still needed more work. The walls had been repainted, the floors cleared, and new windows put in. Tomorrow, they would finish the job. 

Ben's neighbours were still wary, but a little more accepting. Ray thought they were embarassed at their previous behaviour. Still, they had helped to clear the broken glass and garbage out of Ben's apartment. 

With time, both sets of wounds would heal. Clint Reese's trial was in six days, and Ben had recovered from his breakdown with help and care from Ray. Ray was still dealing with his fears, but with the trial a few days away, Ben supported him. Clint Reese would go back to prison, Ray could go back to his job and family. And Ben could go back to his apartment. 

But right now, Ray wasn't thinking of anything else but the man he loved. He kissed Ben's neck gently, nestling against him under the sheets. It was going to take him a long time to forget, but he didn't have to do it alone. He never had to be alone again. 

THE END. 

jesterangel@hotmail.com 

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